On the lookout for and with a vested interest in Canadian mathematics education matters, this article is dedicated to hockey cards. More specifically, the statistics found on the back of hockey cards. The combination of taking a trip down memory lane, thrifting in British Columbia, traipsing around Toronto, and having coffee (one cream) at Tim Hortons resulted in an investigation as to whether or not hockey card statistics have changed over the last half century. Long story short, they have not. The addition of power play goals and the plus/minus statistic are the only major developments. Although this can be considered an improvement, I consider it a shame. First, the statistics do not reflect changes to the game of hockey. Second, they do not include any of the plethora of statistics readily available at National Hockey League Stats (dot com) and Records (dot com). In other words, I contend that the standard statistics (Games Played, Goals, Assists, Points, Plus/Minus, Penalty in Minutes and Power Play Goals), found on the back of every type of hockey card, do not well enough paint a statistical picture of the hockey player photographed on the front of the card. To cement my contention, I detail my Build-a-Card exercise (akin to Build-a-Bear, yes), which is where one uses a blank back of the card as a canvas with which to paint a proper statistical portrait of a hockey player, albeit beer league hockey style.