“When Studying Mental Illness in Nurses Means Studying Yourself” (https://wp.me/p7sy0l-8sc) really resonated with me. Forty-five years ago, as a young nurse working in a stressful neonatal ICU, I regularly experienced the classic signs of generalized anxiety disorder—cold palms, a pounding heart, heightened senses—yet I unconsciously repressed my symptoms, appearing calm, cool, and collected on the outside. Four decades ago, it was not unusual to have multiple infant deaths over a short period of time, yet loss was rarely acknowledged among nursing staff. We had to keep going as tiny lives were in the balance; there was no choice.

Some 20 years later, I received a major depression diagnosis just as I was finishing my PhD in nursing. Depression hit me like a ton of bricks, seemingly appearing “out of the blue.” I should have seen it coming, but I didn't. As I think back on my life and career, mental illness was a silent companion, smoldering until it reached a tipping point. I can clearly see that I was in a constant state of burnout, but I kept plodding forward until I couldn't. With the care of a good psychiatrist for medication management and an outstanding psychiatric NP as my therapist, I made a full recovery. I urge all nurses to stop, reflect, and take action if they are experiencing burnout, anxiety, and/or depression. We are caregivers through and through, often putting our own needs aside. I also implore nursing administrators to emotionally support nurses, first and foremost. Nurses cannot provide expert care to patients and families without emotional nurturance.

Shawn P., via ajnoffthecharts.com